Most Indian parents wish to bring up their kids in a way that ensures they are rooted in their family/community’s traditions. While you can certainly give your child a traditional upbringing, it is important to be aware of the ways in which accepted traditions, rituals and thinking can create opportunities for children to be sexually abused and force them to stay silent about it.

1. Taboos around discussing sexual topics:

In many Indian and Asian families, there are cultural taboos around discussing sexual topics openly, which can make it difficult for children to understand or communicate about issues of sexual abuse.

“What you can do: Teach your child proactively about their bodies (including private parts) from an early age. Create an open and non-threatening environment for your child to discuss sex, sexuality, reproduction and other topics.”

2. Beliefs about authority and respect:

In Indian culture, there is often a strong emphasis on authority and respect for elders and authority figures. This can create a power dynamic where children may feel pressured to comply with the wishes of adults, even if it makes them uncomfortable.

“What you can do: Teach your child about body boundaries and consent starting at age 2. While you may teach your child to respect elders and authority figures, you must explain to kids that if they feel uncomfortable in a situation they must say no and tell you about what happened.”

3. Gender stereotypes:

Traditional gender roles and expectations around physical touch and affection in Indian families may contribute to an environment where sexual abuse can occur. For example, boys may be discouraged from expressing vulnerability or emotion, while girls may be socialized to be submissive and accommodating.

“What you can do: Teach your child to listen to their feelings and instincts as early as 2 years. Teach them that both boys and girls can feel unsafe, scared, sad or uncomfortable. Irrespective of your child’s gender, teach them to recognize unsafe situations and say no if they feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Of course, it helps if you bring up your child without enforcing gender stereotypes.”

4. Family reputation:

There is immense pressure to prioritize the family reputation and maintain the family’s “standing” in the community which deters survivors of child sexual abuse from speaking out and seeking help.

“What you can do: Tell your child from an early age that their safety is more important than anything else. Also reinforce the fact that if ever abuse does occur, it is NEVER the child’s fault and there is no shame for the child.”

5. Blind faith:

Some cultural practices and rituals may put children at risk of sexual abuse. For example, situations where children are left alone with religious leaders or “trusted” individuals during ceremonies or religious functions. This can happen across religious communities and social backgrounds.

“What you can do: Parents must always limit the number of people who have one-on-one access to their kids. This is true for religious leaders or community elders as well. Just because someone is well-respected/powerful in the community does not mean that they can automatically get one-on-one access to your child.”

It is important to note that not all traditional cultural norms contribute to child sexual abuse, and that sexual abuse occurs across cultures and communities. However, cultural norms can create an environment where child sexual abuse is more likely to occur, or can make it more difficult for survivors to speak out and seek help. Parents must be aware of these aspects of cultural traditions to ensure their child’s safety.